Today is the day I’ve been waiting for. The many tests prior to the installation of the port told me I had cancer; however, the port was the stamp on my chest that it was real. Today that goes away and all that remains will be the scar that reminds me that something tried to kill me but I was stronger. Fitting enough is that it will rest above and to the right of my rose tattoo. I got that inked after my dear sweet mother succumbed to the disease that gave me this scar.
I’ve been waiting for this day for some time. Just like the tests that told me I had cancer, my energy and enthusiasm told me that it was over. The hair growing back, the certificate that I endured the radiation told me it was over. However, there was no stamp of finality. The port reminded me that I was a short phone call away from having more chemotherapy. As stated before, the scar will be my stamp of finality.
So here I am, hours before surgery. I am taking account of what I’ve lost and what I’ve won. I lost my hair but it grew back. I lost my energy but I got it back. Everything I’ve lost, I’ve gotten back and then some. I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge on top of all that. No matter how hard the times became I knew that I had the love and support of family and friends. Seriously, people I’ve never met jumped in and bet on me.
To all of you that had my back through all of this, I hope you celebrate this final step as much as I am. Without you it would not have been possible. I am forever indebted to each and every one of you. I had inspiration everywhere I looked, from messages and financial support to the random hug that lifted me up when I was feeling down. Today is deportation day. I am leaving the state of cancer behind, tearing up my passport and I am going back to this wonderful world of uncertainty and great promise with a sincere desire to get busy living.
Much love (more than you’ll ever know),
Your son, your husband, your father, your family member, your co-worker, but most of all your friend,