July 25, 2002
I was nervous as hell. Today was the day. After months of a challenging pregnancy, due to placenta previa , today was the day I get to meet my son. At 12:10 pm, following a c-section, I held that little baby for the first time. I thought I could never have been so proud. The thing I remember most was the fear I felt waiting for, what seemed like an eternity, his first cry. I distinctly remember he sounded like the Aflac duck.
July 25, 2017
I could never have been more wrong in 2002. Every day he makes me prouder of being his father. I see a young man before me who has had a lot to deal with. When he was younger, I worked in pizza and was never around much. I relied on his Mother, family and friends to raise Trenton. When that began going south, it was because of him that I left a career behind to pursue another by enrolling in College. Through it all, thick and thin, that little boy turned into a man by my side. He was with me during open heart surgery and the recovery, he was with me after seizures, he was with me when we were living hand to mouth, and he is with me through this cancer treatment. Today he made me prouder than I’ve ever been, tomorrow he will beat that record.
I subscribe to one theory in regards to my children. The goal is to teach them to be great adults. I want them to question perceived injustices, I want them to scrutinize my decisions, I want them to speak up when he feels something wrong, and I want them to act upon it. At times this belief makes it more difficult as a parent when the children are young. However, they’re young for just a second out of time.
That being said, I went with my son for his preferred birthday meal at Cici’s Pizza and then we walked through Wal-Mart and Lowes. I got some physical activity in and it reminded me of how far to go I have. A 2 hour outing sapped me of all of my energy. I got into bed when I returned home and slept through the night. I realize I need to continue pushing it so I can get back to work and make it through a day. Partly the reason is due to anemia caused by the chemo. I’m dealing with it and have been feeling fine, albeit tired. I’ll get that be ready worked out and with much luck be ready to go back sometime next month.
In summary: I’ve got a great son, I feel good but I’m tired a lot, and I want to get through this final round and get back to it.