When I last wrote, I had a really good day. It seems that I’m learning that I should cherish those because they might be fleeting. As good as I felt on Friday, yesterday and today weren’t as spectacular.
Friday”s Neulasta shot appears to be catching up to me. Constant fatigue, headaches from hell and never ending body aches seem to be theme. The purpose of the shot is to spur bone marrow function to kick up white blood cell production and I’m hoping it is doing that because everything I’ve done to counteract these aches is not working at all. That being said I do find myself finding moments of feeling good. I am trying harder to appreciate those more because I don’t know when the next one will come around.
So all of this is a forward to what I now write. It is important to remember the pain and misery. Not to dwell on it but to use it as a contrast to accentuate the good times. I look at it like this: If every moment in our lives is spectacular then spectacular moments will feel ordinary.
So now I’m on a mission inside a mission. Not to just survive, but to thrive. To take the headaches, to take the fatigue and the pain and to accept that this is the current price to pay to appreciate those wonderful moments.
I spent my life walking through gardens but did not notice the flowers. No more. Now I strive to sniff and gaze at every single one.