Some ups and some downs.

When I last wrote, I had a really good day. It seems that I’m learning that I should cherish those because they might be fleeting. As good as I felt on Friday, yesterday and today weren’t as spectacular.

Friday”s Neulasta shot appears to be catching up to me. Constant fatigue, headaches from hell and never ending body aches seem to be theme. The purpose of the shot is to spur bone marrow function to kick up white blood cell production and I’m hoping it is doing that because everything I’ve done to counteract these aches is not working at all. That being said I do find myself finding moments of feeling good. I am trying harder to appreciate those more because I don’t know when the next one will come around.

So all of this is a forward to what I now write. It is important to remember the pain and misery. Not to dwell on it but to use it as a contrast to accentuate the good times. I look at it like this: If every moment in our lives is spectacular then spectacular moments will feel ordinary.

So now I’m on a mission inside a mission. Not to just survive, but to thrive. To take the headaches, to take the fatigue and the pain and to accept that this is the current price to pay to appreciate those wonderful moments.

I spent my life walking through gardens but did not notice the flowers. No more. Now I strive to sniff and gaze at every single one.

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2 thoughts on “Some ups and some downs.

  1. Great way to look at life right now, with the current situation and all. I admire your outlook and how you’re choosing to keep pushing forward and make the best of every day! Stay strong. In my prayers!
    -Misty

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  2. It’s common for us to not notice what a gift we have in just being alive. And it’s not unusual for us to “wake up and smell the roses” when we’re faced with the trials in our lives. The only thing we really have control over is the way we choose to handle ourselves during and after those times. It’s tough at times. But, worth it when we are loved and needed by others
    in our lives. Prayers for your healing and strength every day Jeff. Keep the faith and your sense of humor. Both will help when things kinda suck.

    Like

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